highqualitygifs / So, why do witches burn?

Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Mind your own business! Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom.

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4 years ago by sanctioned_parts_list / $0.00

I'm not interested! And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped. Chicken! And therefore? Is there someone else up there we could talk to? Oh, shut up. Come on, then. But then of course, uh, African swallows are non-migratory. Very good. We shall use my largest scales. Oh, yeah. Oh.

4 years ago by i_blame_the_parents / $0.00

I'm not dead! Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old. I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! Well, how did you become King, then?

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